Yep, I went there: mike’s hard spiced apple

The only thing hard about this stuff is finishing the whole bottle. Yeah, I said it.

Do you like apple cider?  Sure, who doesn’t?  Do you ever wish it was twice as sweet with a smack of bubblegum?  Well, not personally, but apparently some people do.  Or at least the great folk at mike’s hard ____ seem to think so.  Luckily, my roommate has a sweet inside line to the newest concoctions coming out of La Crosse, WI.  Tis’ the season for gutrot.

BeerBeverage: mike’s hard spiced apple

Style: Spiced sugar liquid

Vitals: not for long

Description: “Premium malt beverage with natural flavors and certified colors”

My take: GAH!  The only thing certified about this stuff is the certainty of sugar cramps at 4am.  Should come packaged with an insulin syringe.  And a tongue scraper.  But at 5.9% abv, it’ll give you a mild buzz to temper the stomach convulsions.  Tis’ the season for sugar crashes.  Yes, I’m still drinking it.  Momma taught me to clean my plate.  Don’t judge me.